Foggy brain, aches and pains, anxiety, irritability and overwhelm, plus life-stopping fatigue and a craving to hide from people forever....you might have an introvert hangover!
This is one of the main reasons I'm loving Substack... I finally feel like I've found my people ! I whole heartedly agree and resonate with all of this ! I've often felt like there was something wrong with me ... or when I push through ( with friends or at work) and present more extroverted traits that I was somehow lying to myself and others, and not living authentically. I can't tell you the relief recently reading some wonderful newsletters on Substack ( like yours !!! ) that I am normal and there are plenty of us out there !
Oh yes, I thought there was something wrong with me for years! Then I read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain and it shifted everything for me. I've been a loud and proud (or quiet and proud) introvert since then.
I feel so enlightened finding out there's an actual term for what I thought was just my incredible anti-social desire to be left the hell alone 😁
I thrive when alone. I could go for days not talking to anyone but my dog and the occasional human while walking my dog.
For many years my job was my social life. I've worked in hospitality for a decade and have the ability to turn it full on. But man, coming home after work and exhaling after being work-social was so necessary.
To answer your question, I live alone and have a dog. That's all I need to recharge.
Amazing, I'm so glad it helped. I remember when I found out that it was actually a thing (and a normal one at that!) - a weight lifted and I've been able to embrace it as part of who I am now and build a recovery routine.
Dogs are fab, the perfect companions and what a great excuse to get outside and have a peaceful walk when everything is too loud/busy!
Oh I totally recognize this! For me they can last for days.. Take this week for example where a two day conference coincide with my period. Absolute introvert hell. I feel very lucky to be able to work 4 days a week, which helps a lot with recovery and still being able to enjoy my weekends.
Oof, I hear you on that one!! Had a similar situation when I travelled to a team meeting for a few days in the US - loved seeing the team and collaborating etc. But it took me days to recover once I got back (periods and jet lag do not help with an introvert hangover!). Thank goodness more flexible work routines are becoming a bit more common.
Absolutely! I’m lucky enough to have a manager who highly valued autonomy and trust, so it felt like such a blessing that the rest of the week I could spend curled up on the couch answering emails instead of going to the office.
Same here, Lieke. I work four days too and most of this time at home. I finally feel like I've found a way of working that I can cope with. I feel very fortunate. And also know I do a blimmin' great job.
Love the insight here. As I’ve gotten older, the better I’ve gotten at preemptive measures in this dept. I am ruthless about saying NO to events, activities whatever if I know I’m getting close to capacity. Learning the way your body feels BEFORE things go off the rails has been a powerful tool to protect my well-being and set boundaries.
I resonate with everything you’ve written in this post! My son is exactly the same as me. He’s 8 and he often comes home from school upset that he has too many friends. I know that sounds dramatic, but I completely understand where he’s coming from. He has lots of different people talking to him, asking him questions, making noises, and just being great friends (which they are), but by the time he gets home, he is just DONE with talking, listening and any other noise. Sometimes we just lay on the sofa and cuddle for 5 minutes in silence to let him switch off and have that much needed day dream.
He doesn’t hate having friends, he just doesn’t like constant noise and socialising that he experiences at school. I feel bad for him because I would absolutely hate to spend 6 hours there too 😅🤣
This was such a great read! I resonate some much with everything you wrote about! Sometimes I really thought it was a me problem of I just wasn't sure of how someone could be extroverted and introverted at the same time. Thanks so much for the insights.
Thanks so much for sharing and for your restorative tips. They are very similar to mine too. Especially getting away from my phone. When I'm in one of these hangovers I seem to become more addicted to my phone if I'm not careful.
This is so relatable. I always thought the cause for me was severe imposter syndrome - which certainly plays a part. But, I'm starting to learn that I am introvert and need these recovery periods.
Lovely piece of writing - thank you ! Although I’m officially retired I can identify with all you say . I needed a gush of energy every day to be on with people and never understood why I felt so depleted after work . Yesterday I attended a social event and scrambled to get out and go home . I could feel my life energy draining with each new encounter - however positive . I am best one on one - and with meaningful deeper encounters . I think the demands of so much on- ness including technology competing moment by moment for our undivided attention has rattled people like us - even more .
Thank you. You just described me and I thought I was weird but just like other introverts it appears. I am on a downside now, looking forward to a lazy Sunday with no visitors.
I can so utterly relate to this - taken me years to realise that I just naturally become so overwhelmed with too much company. I’ ve felt a sense of guilt or rather of ‘ not being enough’ because I couldn’t go the extra hour on the dance floor or hold the conversation all night long..
This is one of the main reasons I'm loving Substack... I finally feel like I've found my people ! I whole heartedly agree and resonate with all of this ! I've often felt like there was something wrong with me ... or when I push through ( with friends or at work) and present more extroverted traits that I was somehow lying to myself and others, and not living authentically. I can't tell you the relief recently reading some wonderful newsletters on Substack ( like yours !!! ) that I am normal and there are plenty of us out there !
Oh yes, I thought there was something wrong with me for years! Then I read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain and it shifted everything for me. I've been a loud and proud (or quiet and proud) introvert since then.
That's an amazing book isn't it. I wish I'd read it years ago when I was at school and was constantly told I needed to speak up more
thanks for the book reccomendation too ... I'll check it out!
I feel this too!
There really are. We have such a quiet power both collectively and individually and I love that we can find each other here.
quiet power. I love that.
I feel so enlightened finding out there's an actual term for what I thought was just my incredible anti-social desire to be left the hell alone 😁
I thrive when alone. I could go for days not talking to anyone but my dog and the occasional human while walking my dog.
For many years my job was my social life. I've worked in hospitality for a decade and have the ability to turn it full on. But man, coming home after work and exhaling after being work-social was so necessary.
To answer your question, I live alone and have a dog. That's all I need to recharge.
Amazing, I'm so glad it helped. I remember when I found out that it was actually a thing (and a normal one at that!) - a weight lifted and I've been able to embrace it as part of who I am now and build a recovery routine.
Dogs are fab, the perfect companions and what a great excuse to get outside and have a peaceful walk when everything is too loud/busy!
^This^
Me, my dog, and a stack of records. That's all I need.
It's pretty much an ideal life isn't it? 😊🐕
It sure is!
Oh I totally recognize this! For me they can last for days.. Take this week for example where a two day conference coincide with my period. Absolute introvert hell. I feel very lucky to be able to work 4 days a week, which helps a lot with recovery and still being able to enjoy my weekends.
Oof, I hear you on that one!! Had a similar situation when I travelled to a team meeting for a few days in the US - loved seeing the team and collaborating etc. But it took me days to recover once I got back (periods and jet lag do not help with an introvert hangover!). Thank goodness more flexible work routines are becoming a bit more common.
Absolutely! I’m lucky enough to have a manager who highly valued autonomy and trust, so it felt like such a blessing that the rest of the week I could spend curled up on the couch answering emails instead of going to the office.
Same here, Lieke. I work four days too and most of this time at home. I finally feel like I've found a way of working that I can cope with. I feel very fortunate. And also know I do a blimmin' great job.
Thank you for this beautiful piece of writing...I can relate wholeheartedly to everything you have just written. In honour of your journey.
Love the insight here. As I’ve gotten older, the better I’ve gotten at preemptive measures in this dept. I am ruthless about saying NO to events, activities whatever if I know I’m getting close to capacity. Learning the way your body feels BEFORE things go off the rails has been a powerful tool to protect my well-being and set boundaries.
I resonate with everything you’ve written in this post! My son is exactly the same as me. He’s 8 and he often comes home from school upset that he has too many friends. I know that sounds dramatic, but I completely understand where he’s coming from. He has lots of different people talking to him, asking him questions, making noises, and just being great friends (which they are), but by the time he gets home, he is just DONE with talking, listening and any other noise. Sometimes we just lay on the sofa and cuddle for 5 minutes in silence to let him switch off and have that much needed day dream.
He doesn’t hate having friends, he just doesn’t like constant noise and socialising that he experiences at school. I feel bad for him because I would absolutely hate to spend 6 hours there too 😅🤣
Aw your son is very lucky to have you as his Mum and to be so seen and understood
This was such a great read! I resonate some much with everything you wrote about! Sometimes I really thought it was a me problem of I just wasn't sure of how someone could be extroverted and introverted at the same time. Thanks so much for the insights.
Being outside, doing something or nothing, breathing in nature, helps charge my batteries.
Being an introvert can feel isolating at times but so lovely to read this post and all of these comments! Thank you 🙏
I feel so seen reading this! Sometimes the recovery can be crippling. Thanks for the tips!
100% yes to everything you've written here, Claire. This is my experience, too.
Like others have shared below, if only I'd known earlier that this was a very real thing!? But I'm grateful to have this knowledge now.
I wrote about this earlier this year, specifically about how I NEED to be alone. And so many people resonated https://janellehardacre.substack.com/p/on-being-alone
Thanks so much for sharing and for your restorative tips. They are very similar to mine too. Especially getting away from my phone. When I'm in one of these hangovers I seem to become more addicted to my phone if I'm not careful.
I relate to this so much! Exercise and reading help me recharge so I can people again.
This is so relatable. I always thought the cause for me was severe imposter syndrome - which certainly plays a part. But, I'm starting to learn that I am introvert and need these recovery periods.
Lovely piece of writing - thank you ! Although I’m officially retired I can identify with all you say . I needed a gush of energy every day to be on with people and never understood why I felt so depleted after work . Yesterday I attended a social event and scrambled to get out and go home . I could feel my life energy draining with each new encounter - however positive . I am best one on one - and with meaningful deeper encounters . I think the demands of so much on- ness including technology competing moment by moment for our undivided attention has rattled people like us - even more .
Thank you. You just described me and I thought I was weird but just like other introverts it appears. I am on a downside now, looking forward to a lazy Sunday with no visitors.
I can so utterly relate to this - taken me years to realise that I just naturally become so overwhelmed with too much company. I’ ve felt a sense of guilt or rather of ‘ not being enough’ because I couldn’t go the extra hour on the dance floor or hold the conversation all night long..